Sunday, 15 December 2019

Comparing Cards

Comparing Cards
01 Aug
2:24

CASHIER: Your total comes to twenty two thirty eight JEN: Okay

CASHIER: And how will you be paying for that today? JEN: Um… PREPAID: Well isn't it obvious? DEBIT: Shh! She can make her own decision JEN: Who said that? PREPAID: Hello! JEN: Ack! DEBIT: I can handle this purchase Easy peasy That's what debit cards do! CREDIT: Do you remember how awesome my rewards program is, though? Swipe me We got this

PREPAID: I think what these two meant to say is that you want to use me, Prepaid Debit I mean look at my logo Just like a credit card Cool, right? CREDIT: Please You're nothing like me

I'm the only one here who can help build credit You have literally zero effect on a credit score PREPAID: But I don't need a whole special approval process I'm accessible Anyone can own me

DEBIT: I'm pretty accessible, too and I tend to have less fees than you do, Prepaid Debit PREPAID: Oh, yeah? Name one DEBIT: Activation fee PREPAID: Sometimes CREDIT: Transaction fees

PREPAID: Not always DEBIT: Reload fees PREPAID: Well CREDIT: Maintenance fees PREPAID: I said one! At least I don't have to worry about crazy interest rates or overdraft fees

CREDIT: I do charge interest on balances, but that's the trade off for a generous credit limit! You're limited to the amount loaded onto you And you're limited to how much is in your checking account DEBIT: Right, that's why people who hang out with you too much get into tons of debt! PREPAID: And everyday it sounds like there's a headline about a new credit card data breach CREDIT: Don't give me that attitude Debit and I are protected by federal law to minimize liability caused by that kind of stuff

If you get lost or stolen, your owner is out of luck, most of the time PREPAID: You're just jealous because everyone thinks I'm cool and you can't handle it! CREDIT: How dare you challenge me, you good-for-nothing piece of plastic! DEBIT: Don't checking and savings accounts mean anything to anybody anymore? JEN: Guys! Guys Let's be cool Can you just try and say something nice about each other? Come on, I know you can do it DEBIT: Well, Credit does have cool rewards

PREPAID: And if you're smart about it and don't carry a balance, she can be a pretty great CREDIT: And I guess Prepaid Debit can come in handy, like if you're traveling DEBIT: You can use it in lots of different places CREDIT: And if it gets lost or stolen, it can't be used to access your account PREPAID: And Debit, I totally admire your affordability

CREDIT: And you can be used to take out cash from ATMs all over the world PREPAID: You kind of rock at managing money, I must say JEN: See? Was that so difficult? CREDIT: I guess not But getting back to your purchase How are you going to pay? DEBIT: Yeah Jen, who are you gonna choose? PREPAID: Please

Please Pease Pick me Pick me CREDIT: Who's it gonna be? JEN: I'm just going to pay with cash this time

CARDS: Noooo! Really! Are you kidding me? BILL: Hee hee GRANDPA GIFT CARD: Hey guys, what about me? JEN: Who are you? GRANDPA GIFT CARD: I'm an old gift card with 12 cents left on it I'll show myself out

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