Saturday, 25 September 2021

Comparing Your Cards

Comparing Your Cards
01 Aug

[music] [beep] [beep] CASHIER: Your total comes to $2238

JEN: Okay CASHIER: And how will you be paying for that today? JEN: Um… PREPAID: Well, isn't it obvious? DEBIT: Shh! She can make her own decision JEN: Uh, who said that? PREPAID: Hello! JEN: Ah! DEBIT: I can handle this purchase Easy-peasy That's what debit cards do! CREDIT: Do you remember how awesome my rewards program is, though? Swipe me

We got this PREPAID: I think what these two meant to say is that you want to use me, Prepaid Debit I mean, look at my logo Just like a credit card! Cool, right? CREDIT: Please You're nothing like me

I'm the only one here who can help build credit You have literally zero effect on a credit score PREPAID: But I don't need a whole special approval process I'm accessible Anyone can own me

DEBIT: I'm pretty accessible, too And I tend to have less fees than you do, Prepaid Debit PREPAID: Oh, yeah? Name one DEBIT: Activation fee PREPAID: Sometimes

CREDIT: Transaction fees PREPAID: Not always DEBIT: Reload fees PREPAID: Well CREDIT: Maintenance fees PREPAID: I said one! At least I don't have to worry about crazy interest rates or overdraft fees CREDIT: I do charge interest on balances But that's the trade off for a generous credit limit! You're limited to the amount loaded onto you

And you're limited to how much is in your checking account DEBIT: [laughs] Right, that's why people who hang out with you too much get into tons of debt! PREPAID: And everyday it sounds like there's a headline about a new credit card data breach CREDIT: Don't give me that attitude Debit and I are protected by federal law to minimize liability caused by that kind of stuff If you get lost or stolen, you're out of luck, most of the time

PREPAID: You're just jealous because everyone thinks I'm cool and you can't handle it! CREDIT: How dare you challenge me? You good-for-nothing piece of plastic! DEBIT: Don't checking and savings accounts mean anything to anybody anymore? JEN: Guys! Let's be cool Can you just try and say something nice about each other? Come on! I know you can do it DEBIT: Well, Credit does have cool rewards PREPAID: And, if you're smart about it and don't carry a balance, she can be a pretty great! CREDIT: And I guess Prepaid Debit can come in handy Like if you're traveling

DEBIT: You can use it in lots of different places CREDIT: And if it gets lost or stolen, it can't be used to access your account PREPAID: And Debit, like, I totally admire your affordability CREDIT: And you can be used to take out cash from ATMs all over the world PREPAID: You kind of rock at managing money, I must say

JEN: See? Was that so difficult? CREDIT: I guess not But, getting back to your purchase How are you going to pay? DEBIT: Yeah, Jen Who are you gonna choose? PREPAID: Please, please, please, please! Pick me, pick me! CREDIT: Who's it gonna be? DEBIT: Pick me, pick me! JEN: Oh, I'm just going to pay with cash this time DEBIT: No! CREDIT: Really! PREPAID: No! CREDIT: No way

DEBIT: You can't do that! PREPAID: Are you kidding me? DEBIT: Ah! BILL: Hee hee [music] [coughs] GIFT CARD: Hey, guys! What about me? JEN: Uh, who are you? GIFT CARD: I'm an old gift card with $012 left on it I'll show myself out

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